IN THE BEDROOM…NOT JUST FOR FORTUNE COOKIES! Whenever someone cracks open a fortune cookie, there’s usually some good fun to be had by adding the phrase “in the bedroom” to the end of the fortune. Well, due to a lack of fortune, in this case adding that phrase to Carmen Electra’s latest aerobic striptease DVD doesn’t do much. In fact, it’s sort of annoying. Hoping to cash in on the waning sexiness that is Carmen Electra, whoever produces these things decided to double-dip and try and catch the striptease exercise craze at the same time. Unfortunately for both the men and women who bought this, there’s no stripping to be had. Sure, there’s champagne, I mean sexy dancing in the video. But you don’t want sexy dancing. You want to strip. And there’s no stripping on the DVD.
Okay, all homages to Chris Rock aside, that is absolutely true. And that’s fine. Her little dance routine is sufficiently titillating, even if the outfit is just horrible, and she spends a lot of time rolling around on the bed. But the fact of the matter is this DVD advertises that it is about stripping. That it will teach women how to sexily dance, remove their clothes, and get in shape all at the same time. But hey, I guess two out of three ain’t bad. There are three sections to this otherwise bare-bones release. First is an introduction, with the aging beauty herself, where she thanks us profusely for buying her DVD. I guess she’s getting desperate. Sales must be below. Second is the actual workout, which is also falsely advertised. Aerobics usually means some sort of cardiovascular workout that makes one short of breath and raises the heart rate. The more yoga/pilates style exercises that Carmen has you doing would only raise the heart rate of Roseanne Barr to optimum levels. Then, she can’t even talk and exercise at the same time.
She has to do a voice-over instead. Wow, too good to talk and work out at the same time? Just for being Dennis Rodman’s wife? That being said, I think that for a toning and stretching routine, her workout would be just fine. It’s unfortunate that it wasn’t billed that way. I guess being on the bed, and having to keep your balance, is supposed to add a level of difficulty that would not otherwise be had in the workout, and thereby help to raise that heart rate.
